Big Brother Goes Postal

November, 2001

Originally published on Bart Cop

Big Brother Goes Postal

Yesterday I made a trip to my local U.S. Post Office, where I have kept a P.O. box for the past 5 years. As I was standing on line to purchase some money orders and stamps, I noticed a bumper sticker on the wall
behind the counter. It read:

Back Off, bin Laden....I'm a Postal Worker!

And I had to wonder: What is the real message here?

From what I have observed, the postal workers seem more focused on getting American citizens to back off, especially if they are so bold as to inquire what might be the problem with their mail delivery service.

Like why we aren't receiving our mail...why it arrives weeks late....or why it's being tampered with.

Why packages and envelopes have been opened by some unknown hand prior to reaching their destination, instead of arriving intact, to be opened by the designated recipient.

Remember that old saying: Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor dark of night, will keep the trusty postman from his appointed rounds....or something like that...

Is anybody else out there having some trouble with their mail service?

Well, as for myself, the past few weeks have really been something to write home about. And I would, if I thought my letter stood half a chance of being delivered.

First there was the incident in Denver, when a friend retired from Special Forces tried to mail me a package containing a scanner for my computer. The package never reached it's destination. Instead of arriving at the Woodstock Post Office, it was 'returned to sender'...the contents decimated and destroyed. The excuse given was 'just checking for anthrax'.....

Since I can only get to the post office about two or three times a month, I usually find a whole batch of mail waiting for me. But last week I opened my P.O. box, only to find one lonely little junk-mail circular
advertising supermarket specials.

So I went up to the desk to inquire if there might be a problem with my P.O. box, explaining that I was
expecting mail and packages which I had been told were already in the mail and should certainly have arrived by now.

The lady I spoke to said she would check, and walked back into the restricted area. But she had nothing much to tell me, only that there was not a problem with my particular box, just that 'all mail deliveries
have been slow...you know....because of the way things are.....'

Well, yes I do know 'the way things are'....But where's my mail?

So yesterday I went back to the post office, one week later to check again. I thought maybe some of the 'slow deliveries' had finally arrived...two weeks late, but better late than never. But no dice. Still nothing there.

Since there was a different postal worker behind the desk this time, I thought I'd try my luck and get a second opinion. As I stared directly into the surveillance camera on the ceiling, I repeated my question of the previous week.

This time I was told that No, the mail delivery was moving right along...no problems he had heard of. So, I asked hopefully, Where's my mail?

Strangely enough, he couldn't tell me. So, not wanting to hold up the line, I saluted Big Brother via the surveillance camera and walked back out to the lot.

But I had that sinking feeling...you know what I mean. Like maybe someone out there doesn't want me to ever get my mail.

Like I'll be waiting 'til hell freezes over (forget about sleet, snow and dark of night) and the trusty postman might still not complete his appointed rounds.

So I thought, maybe I'll just get my own bumper sticker, one which reads:

Back Off Big Brother, I'm about to Go Postal....


Barbara Hartwell
November, 2001