PRAISE THE LORD & PASS THE AMMUNITION!

From the Hartwell Files, 2002

Anonymous author submits a hypothetical:

The Difference Between The Liberal and Conservative.......

Question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a .357 Magnum and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing!

I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.

Conservative Answer:

Shoot the son of a #####! Then take your family to a baseball game, eat some hot dogs with apple pie, sing the national anthem, go to church and praise the Lord for one more day of freedom.

Barbara Hartwell responds:

Damn the 'liberals' and the 'conservatives' and the horses they rode in on!...... Don't pigeonhole me.

But my response to the hypothetical situation you present would be this: If I were walking down that deserted street with my husband and children and in my hand was a .357 Magnum (and I am indeed an excellent shot) and the assailant you described was coming at ME and MINE......well, there's no doubt what I'd do.

I'd shoot the lunatic S.O.B...... IN SELF DEFENSE.....and let the chips fall where they may. Just call it Frontier Justice......and although I'm not a regular churchgoer; don't enjoy spectator sports; and the very thought of hot dogs makes me sick (I've been a vegetarian since 1969) I would certainly PRAISE GOD for another day of freedom.

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition! Don't tread on me.

Barbara Hartwell

November, 2002